The day after...
Suddenly I'm the shuso, running through the temple at 4:55 AM, ringing a bell as loudly as I can, hitting the han, making a whole lot of noise. It was kind of fun, like calling every one to a special party. I know from experience that it doesn't necessarily feel that way from the point of view of the one being woken up. But I had a blast.

It got me to thinking about how physical Zen practice is, how often I am enacting with my body the requests of practice, regardless of what is going on in my mind. By putting my body in the zendo and sitting zazen, the request for stillness is enacted by stillness. In bowing to discover, right there in the bow, what it is to give over, to let go. I know I've heard Paul lecture about this, but there was something about the physicality of running at full speed for 10 minutes before sitting zazen that made it a real, actual experience. Or maybe it was just the endorphins?

I'm finding it hard to capture last night's ceremony in words. It was very powerful, and clarifying and deeply supportive. I mostly felt gratitude, endless rivers of gratitude.